Sex on the Beach

I think the drink would have been more fun than the actual thing. I'm currently at the airport after spending the past two days on a white-sands resort. One of the owners of the financial firm where I work invited me to spend a few nights with him at his beach house. I needed the break and this man is very easy on the eyes, so I agreed. Less than three hours later we were in the air, first class.

I was wearing a white bikini and watching the sun set over the ocean. The sky was pink and orange with dark purple clouds streaking the sky. The palm trees were like black cut-outs against the horizon. David began to massage my shoulders. I was buzzed from the champagne. That first night was amazing...just what I had needed.

The next night we began to make out while lying on the sand. The sun had just set and the stars were out. Sand was EVERYWHERE. I began to feel my hair being tugged, I thought it was David. Oh no, it was a sand crab. I screamed. David said I scared it away and wanted to continue. Sand was EVERYWHERE.

Eventually we went inside and after showering I noticed purple splotches all over my legs. I had been bitten by some kind of bug that caused a skin reaction. We went in the hot tub, which had too many chemicals...causing more reactions. At this point I was so ready to leave.

So, while I was supposed to be enjoying another day at the beach, I have decided to come home to my husband. Maybe this is all just karma.

Sex at inappropriate times

Why do we get urges to have sex at the most inappropriate times and with inappropriate people throughout the day? Today I was working, more like daydreaming, in my office. I decided that if I didn't have an orgasm I wouldn't be able to concentrate enough to complete my reports.

Jake not only looks like a surfer from some movie, he just moved here from Cali and has grown up surfing. He has perfect skin, blond hair, piercing blue eyes, rippling muscles. Jake looks HOT in a suit and today he had on his teal tie that made his eyes even brighter. I had been thinking about what it would be like for months. Today I called his extension and told him to meet me in the stairwell in 2 minutes.

It only took 5 minutes and just as we finished the door above us opened. Jake went down to the level below and I walked up the stairs. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. I don't know that we will ever talk again, but I finished my reports. Problem solved!!

I left work, showered, made dinner, and made love to my husband (for dessert). Did I really do anything wrong?

Are you a 2 or a 10?

So Ladies, how do we date out of our league? And what does that mean, exactly? Let's use the old rating system of 1-10. Ugly people hate the rating system; it has destroyed many relationships. I've had many guy friends and, too often, am in on their conversations. On numerous occasions I have heard one guy tell his friend, who recently started dating someone new, "No man, you can't date her, she's a 5 and you're at least a 7. You have to date in your league, man."

So how do you know what your number is and if you are dating in your league? You should have a pretty good idea what your number is based on years of social encounters. Here are some things to consider when coming up with your number:

• What crowd did you run with in High School? This doesn't mean that if you were popular, you are prettier (many of the freaks were hotties), but being able to be approachable and social definitely bumps you a number.
• How many people have you dated in the past 5 years? If you are married, what would you rate your spouse (females can add one, males can subtract one for themselves).
• What do you do at parties? Are you the life of the party? Do you find one or two people to chat up the entire night? Do you sit on the couch waiting for people to talk to you? If you are social, you can add a point to your number.
• What is your body fat % - yes, I know, this sucks...but if you are fat, "big boned", or bloated, you are not above a 5. I don't care about plus sized models!! You will not score above a 5 unless your body fat % is 23% or lower...harsh, but true.

If you want to date out of your league, you need to be social, approachable, and physically fit. If you have a "butter-face", you can still date a hottie if your body is in shape. Hit the gym ladies and read a book on networking!